It’s tough to realize that you can’t handle the world. It’s tough to realize that you can’t force your father to go through bypass surgery or force your parents to face the truth about another situation they’re helping to prolong. I was so angry about this other situation that I was yelling when I spoke to a friend about it a few nights ago. It just angered me so much. This friend actually said to me just stop. This is out of your control.

 And she was right.

 And so, I have stopped. And I feel better. These two situations still are sad, but I now realize are out of my control. My life is the only thing I am in control of.

 Work also took up the week. It’s cool in a way to be at this major paper. I love it that when I call a source, I don’t get a quizzical response of, “And who are you with again?” but immediately get responses. That’s kinda cool. But then again, I get weirdos calling me and emailing me, and that’s not cool.

 And I went to Darin and Donna’s wedding this weekend!

They are the nicest people and give me hope! The reception was at a place . The parking wasn’t great (it was down the block), but I really liked the atmosphere of the reception site.

 And that was it! I was chatting with a friend and jokingly said that c*ap comes in threes, doesn’t it? Yes, unfortunately it does, he said back to me. I hope to coast for a little while and not have more family drama. We shall see.

 First it was my dad. The poor man needs bypass surgery in the worst possible way, and refused it. He’s 76, so I’m seeing the inevitable if he doesn’t take care of this now. He refuses the surgery and says that I’m not so bad. Why be concerned? It’s just frustrating to see someone be so stubborn due to fear.  I know what’s going to happen, and I’m scared.

 And now, another family situaiton has happened that is sad, scary and hitting some people in the head with a hard dose of reality. I could see it for years and now, others are only getting involved because it’s past the point of serious. It’s going to be interesting to see how this one plays out.

 Family drama, don’t ya love it?

 So it has now been ten years since 9/11. Wow.

 I remember that morning well. I was getting ready for work around 6:45 in the morning and the phone rang. I was living with my parents at the time and they asked me to answer it.

 ”So what do you think of all this?” my dad’s friend said in an anxious tone of voice.

 I laugh as I write this now, because I said to him hang on, I’ll get my dad, who was at the kitchen table eating breakfast. Dad said without looking at the TV on in front of him (with no sound on-he’s hard of hearing, so this is typical), “What in the hell is he doing calling me now? Tell him I’m still asleep!”

 I told his friend that and nearly passed out as he screamed to wake him the hell up and told me what happened. I at first thought he said that the Pentagon blew up, so that’s what I screamed when I got off the phone.

 ”TURN ON THE TV! THE PENTAGON HAS BEEN BOMBED!”

 So, we all watched TV for a bit before my mom and I headed off to work. Laura Bush was forced to speak to the nation, I think, and she looked so scared. My mom finally told me to pry myself away from the TV because I had to finish getting ready for work. She was right-and I did just that and went on my way to work.

 I worked for a manufacturing company in Anaheim at that time and listened to the radio as I drove on the 57 freeway to work. Every radio station had news on. I mean every station. I think I tried changing the radio station and there was no use.

 My jaw dropped in the car as I heard about both of the towers collapsing to the ground. I remember looking at the cars around me as we waded through traffic, and the faces were dead serious. This truly was scary.

 I made it to work and walked in the door and the receptionist and I exchanged looks that knew the seriousness of the situation. I sat near her and she asked my opinion two seconds after I sat down if she should call her sister who lived a few blocks from Ground Zero to see how she is. We all had codes to use when we dialed long distance numbers, so she didn’t want the person who audited the monthly phone bill to think she was making a frivolous call. Yeah, I think the boss will understand this one, I said.

 She called and I’ll admit that I turned around and listened. Her sister was fine and asked my co-worker to make another call to check on her husband since she could only receive calls. My co-worker called and found out he was all right also.

 I took my break and sat at the TV that was set up that day. It was a mass huddle to find out information about this horrific event across the country that rocked us to our core. Someone thought of the significance of  the date. We sat silently and listened. A manager thought we should just all go home that day and close up shop. I remember thinking that we would let the enemy win that way. After all, we weren’t in a high rise building (and a lot in LA were emptied that day for safety’s sake) and we didn’t make defense parts. We weren’t at risk. We kept working.

 There were prayer services that evening all across the country. I debated going to a nearby one but paranoid me thought it was unsafe. I thought I’d be part of a group bombing, LOL. How dumb of me! Where the spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom!

 Every TV station was filled with 9/11 news. You could not escape it. Like the rest of the world, I was glued to the TV that evening as I looked at the cleanup efforts and the mangled mess that was.

 And I was a mere 26. LOL.

 It has really been 10 years since. We are smarter. We are more paranoid about national security. We are.

 I hope that no one ever forgets 9/11. I certainly won’t.

 I figure that I should probably update all of you on what I’ve been up to for the almost year I’ve been away from this blog. It has been a journey that has only been possible because of God and His goodness, in my opinion.

 So the work at the title company dried up in December and ten of us were laid off as a result. My neighbor, who ironically worked in the same department with me, got laid off a few months later. It’s just bad right now in the real estate market. Former work friends are echoing this too.  

 Fast forward to March of this year….. I got a motivational bug up my ass and said to myself that I should really, truly try to give the freelance writing with Examiner.com all I’ve got and make it work. The feeling I had that things were going to change for me for the better was correct. Very much so.

 So, I went back at it and really gave it all I got. Examiner pays per click, so I emailed probably every publication known to the city I cover to ask them if they would mind linking to my page on their Web sites. I got a lot of no’s, but they weren’t the get away from me type of no. They were more like nice to meet you and thanks for introducing yourself. I’ll read your stuff though, and please keep in touch.

 And I have. They’ve become great contacts.

 The topics to cover have been astronomical also for the typically Republican, no life city I cover! God is good! $$$$$$$!!!! The first article that I believe God brought to me was going to simply be the profile of a lingerie store in the downtown area of the city. They had been having some legal issues but things were quiet for them for six months and I just wanted to do a business profile of them. So, I called the store and identified myself and asked to speak with a manager for an article. The employee gives me the owner’s cell phone number. Was I ever profusely thanked when I called her. She needed positive publicity, she said. Why?

 The city had just served her with a warrant to examiner the store evidence and tried to get her to shut down. Holy shmit! An article on a news issue for little ol’ me!  

 So, I got in to speak with her and her business partner who tells me that he wants to approve my article before it’s published. I flat out said no way but assured him that I was fair and honest and if I did publish something not true that I would certainly correct it in a hurry.

 The interview continued unhindered…..

 They were served with a civil lawsuit also during the time I was interviewing them. And I broke the story.

 I covered the story and one of my articles was featured on a blog of a  local, popular alternative publication. The reporter featuring it got one detail wrong as he summarized my article, so I politely emailed him and CC’d his editor and said please fix it-and they did.

 I was hooked after this!

 Topic after topic popped up after this for me to write about and make some decent money on. It’s kind of sad for the city, but good for me. Others watched  as I posted articles on Twitter and began following me, including the owner of a site in the city I cover. He asked me to join his site as a freelancer also.

 I’m now the editor.

 I also got to know the owners of a start-up magazine this past year due to their innovative marketing campaign and have done five articles for them. They are a husband and a wife team and the wife gave me some feedback about my writing that I respect and thank her for, along with the tools needed to improve it. She thought the obvious, that I’m getting back into this after a hell of a long time out of it and wanted to give me the tools to succeed. She also said I was talented.

 I’ve also gotten to know one of my neighbors who is a reporter for the major paper in my area. He literally lives on the other side of my building and is just the nicest guy ever and thinks I am a good reporter. He recommended me to his editor for a job.

 My desk is two feet from him.

 I just started working three days a week at the paper and am happy for the resume builder and am also grateful for my neighbor for his kindness.

 I’ve also become involved with the local YWCA due to my job and have gotten to know wonderful women as a result. Volunteer work too? This is great!

 I’m finally doing what I love! It’s just amazing to me that I feel now like I have a career instead of just a  job I hate. I honestly thought that day would never come. I really didn’t. The day finally came though and I for one am happy.

 Something is going to change income wise for me in a few months, so I need to seriously think about that but know that I can’t give up now that things are turning around for me career wise. I just can’t give up the momentum of this past year. I just can’t.

 And so, that’s where I am. It’s awesome.

 I tried Blogger for awhile and recently got very upset with their service. Why, you ask? Someone hijacked my email account and started a blog (a private blog!) under my name-and Blogger didn’t respond to my request for them to take down the blog! I’m very unhappy with Blogger due to that even though they have cute backgrounds and are simple to use.  I don’t care about paltry stuff like that if you don’t respond to my serious email. WordPress has better customer service and responds to your emails, at least! (No, they are very good. I’ve always been happy with their service.)

 So, I’m back and ready to roll again. Hi again.

 Let’s see, what have I done this evening? A friend called me right when I was going to call her, so we talked for a bit. I filled out my unemployment form and I sat online. Productive evening? HAH!

 What could I be doing now? Lots of stuff.

 And why am I not doing it? Good question!

 I need a life. I really, truly do.

 I’ll be glad when my self-imposed blogging run for a month is over with, because this is nuts!

 That’s it for tonight. Night all!

 But first, here is my Photoshopping of the day:

 Beginning layering 101. Oooooh, thrilling…….

 So anyway, onto the subject at hand…….

Unemployment bites the big one. That is for sure. Money runs dry. Depression can set in. Self-esteem can suffer.

 But is there an upside to unemployment? I’m here to argue that yes, there can be.

 I believe that there can be an upside to unemployment. If you feel caught in a go-nowhere, feel useless job, being laid off or even fired can be (and feel) like a blessing from God. And that’s okay.

 Unemployment can be a time of figuring out where you want your career to go and also what in the world you want to do, whether it be go back to school, take time off (if affordable), or other options. And that’s also okay.

 Yes, it’s good to have money coming in each week (or every two weeks, or every month…), but sometimes, I feel that we need to take a step back, breathe in and out and say, “what in the world do I want to do?”

 And that is also okay.

To all of you who are unemployed right now, consider this a time of reflection (while you are scrambling to pay your phone bill….), a time of figuring out where you want to go from here.

 (And make it within the 99 weeks you can collect unemployment….)

 Good luck finding another job and make your time off worthwhile.

 Is that okay? Yeah, I think so.

 I also did some Photoshopping today. This is a picture of my grandfather before I began the restoration work:

 (Big file!)

 And here is the after shot:

 Big difference, huh?

I also worked on another photo that was retouching gone awry. Will try to fix it tomorrow to show! As you can tell, I love Photoshop!

 Tomorrow’s entry will deal with my thoughts on unemployment.

  I need to be cleaning right now and getting some things done instead of sitting at the computer doing my daily blog entry for the month of October. I smell something, which precipitates the need to clean and have other things to do. Do I want to do them? Hell no. This expends much less energy though…….. Hoo, am I lazy today!

 To tell you how lazy I am, I have been looking at different sites, seeing what I like, and here are some pictures of these things, courtesy of various sellers at Etsy:

and of course, some of this is good too:

 That’s all for today!

After volunteering for my association in one way or another since I moved into my complex, I decided a few days ago that what I have going on in my life supercedes association business. Therefore, I stopped. And it’s a good feeling. A very good feeling. I don’t have the desire to write an association newsletter or minutes and deal with whiny homeowners and renters who complain vicariously or anything else related to association matters. And that’s when you need to stop. And so, I did. Wahoo!

 In other happenings for the day, I worked in Photoshop for well over an hour today. Here’s some of my work:

(I just had to hack off my friend’s nose when working on this project, LOL. Otherwise you probably couldn’t tell that I had done any work to it.)

(Guess what I did with this? Guess!)  

Needless to say, I like this class and am enjoying learning more and more. (Except for the pen tool…….) Funny how now it seems that I can handle school. Age brings many things together, including patience and a desire to learn these wonderful things to move forward. I just wish I had CS 4.

 T-minus 2 weeks until my birthday! Heck, my only gift I want this year is to be skinnier. That’s it.

 Happy Friday all!